Thursday, November 24, 2005

Maestro and the FreakyNative

Before Maestro university days, there was a girl that Maestro had a crush on. The reason: she was the only girl he knew that didn't grow up with him. It's quite easy to fall for someone of the opposite sex if they're somewhat cute and attractive and is the ONLY FEMALE you know. She was average height, small petite body, great skin, and very hk. We talked on the phone, had our puppy-love relationship, went out to malls for shopping. The innocent and young type of relationship. No kissing, hardcore intercourse etc.etc. We stopped this relationship when I entered university, but I would talk to her once in awhile and maintained a friendly and close bond. When Maestro made the change to wild beast, however, contacts with FreakyNative stopped as I pursued girl after girl, not stopping a moment for rest.

4 years later, I heard rumours that FreakyNative was not the innocent and young girl that I had spent hours on the phone conversing with. INstead, she was labelled as prostitute and highschool 'HO'. I couldn't believe it. I was in utter shock, I was like "NOOO WAY....she's tooo gooody goody. Yeah right, I don't believe you."
Curiosity killed the cat. In my case, I was presented with FREAKYNATIVE. I decided to test this allegation against her and call her out for beer.

Note that I'm already way past into my macking phase and looking for full-fledged sex.

I pick her up and drive to some remote hick bar at the end of a 2 lane highway. It was dark and remote and I couldn't believe this existed. I mean this is only like 20 mins from her house....where in blazes did this come from? We sit down at the bar and ordered smirnoffs, 4 of them. Played drinking games. Downed 6 sicilian kisses and 2 more smirnoffs. It was at this point, that I knew what my friend said was right. No innocent girl in the right mind can match me in alcohol. She was as buzzed as I was and maybe slightly more. Usually, 90% of the girls I drink with will start groping me by the 2nd smirnoff. This girl was TANK of all TANKS. I ordered 2 Jackdaniels. Thinking to myself "Let's see if this puts you over."
I don't remember leaving the bar, but I do remember us flirting around outside in the parking lot. I'm pretty sure I paid....hmmm since no one chased after me when we left.

Out in the parking lot, she had to take a piss so we went further out to some construction site with wooden fences and a foundation of mud and sand. I'm like "just take it here!!" laughing my ass off as I said this.
FreakyNative: NOno, someone might see!
Me: No they won't, just go behind that fence..I'll cover you
FreakyNative: do you have tissue?
Me: (I take out some crumpled pieces from my pocket) Yesyes Lots!
FreakyNative pulls down pants and takes piss into the muddy sesspool of wood shavings and manure. I was pretty FRICKING drunk at this point and told her I couldn't drive. So we just made out on the fence near her piss area. This continues on for how long, I do not know. But I do recall chasing her around the parking lot for something (it was summer so no problem of getting cold). I knew BBB was in the bag and I was just stalling for recovery time from the damn alcohol. Who knew she would be such a tank - don't drink so much if you want to BBB a chick.

When I was sober enough to drive, we proceeded near her house, but as I was about to turn into her street, she says "turn here." which was some deserted new housing development. Without hesitation I turn smoothly into her pointed direction and proceed to find some remote location to park the car. There was no denying it, she knew it and I knew it - we are searching for a 'fuckspot'.

Before long we found one, she crawls into the back and I follow suit. I put down the seats so it's like a flat bed extending into the trunk. It's great invention of new cars haha.

FreakyNative knew exactly what to do, I just layed there on my back and she basically took me as a sex doll and went nuts. Unfortunately, I still didn't learn from my previous experiences and coudln't for the life of me get enough energy to please her. Oh well. She was great. She gave a Great BJ, HJ, and even screamed Great. I would never have thought this would happen. Score more for me. We had sex for awhile before I was absolutely drained of energy and the next thing I remember was waking up at 5:30am. The sun was just coming up and both of us were naked extended into the trunk passed out. I woke her up, and dropped her home and went home to shower. What a night.

2 days later I decided to call again and we went out to the park. No bar, no beer, no shots. Just plain banging.

3 days later: rinse lather and repeat.

The next day I decided to call again, but when we arrived to that infamous location near the housing development she said she was having her period. This is what she says "I'm just as good with my hands."
WOW...i'm like OK go for it.
I decided I wanted my cake and eat it too, so I asked her to use her mouth. She graciously agreed and went nuts. I've never had the luxury of coming in a girl's mouth and I thought what better day than today. The best feeling in the world, aside some from coming inside her vagina.
We rest for a bit and then she asks "What do you think of me as?"
Me: Friend? Casual? (I'm so smart....sigh)
FreakyNative is disappointed and I drove her home and didn't call her out for awhile. She wants to be in a serious relationship if she's going to be going all freaky nuts like this for me. I agree that it is best and we part ways.

you would THINK the story is over, but this ties into the TwinBMV parties with the Sorority. One day after BBB TwinMee, I decided to go clubbing and return back to TwinMee's house for after party. My intuitions suggested that I call FreakyNative to join me. And join me she did. I was very surprised to see that she would agree even though I don't think of her as a gf, but I was very much falling for her the fact that she is the most powerful sex goddess I have come to know.

I pick her up at 1am and head to TwinMee's house by 1:30. The drinking has already begun and since FreakyNative is such a tank, we down drinks 3:1 with the Sorority and their bfs'. This time I outdrank FreakyNative and remembered not to drink so much so Limpy won't come out to haunt me. It was the time of the party where respective couples will go into their respective rooms and fuck like no tomorrow or pass out. TwinMee gave me and FreakyNative the basement - I locked the door behind me so as not to be interrupted and stripped her bare. This was interesting, she asked if I was Maestro. She coudln't even SEE me, she was feeling my body and asked if I was Maestro before she agreed to fuck. WOW. That's being drunk to the nth degree.
I proceeded to bang her missionary style and as I penetrated, her screams were louder than 10 banshee put together. I tried to silence her with my hand, mouth, pillow, anything I could grab my hands on when I was grabbing her breasts - usually my mouth. It was no use, she couldn't feel aroused if she wasn't screaming. Of course EVERYONE else on the other floors blatantly heard this screaming whore (as well as all the houses on the entire block....). I could hear them laughing outside because they could no longer sleep/bang and decided to listen in on our adventurous event.
What was interesting about this screaming is that it wasn't normal moaning and groaning of extreme pleasure. Well, it was, but it didn't sound like it. She pretended she was being raped and kept saying things like "DON"T.......DON"T DO IT....NOOOO NOOOO...STOP IT STOP IT." what do they call this? Pessimist fucking?
When I first heard this, I was like WTF, I'm hurting her, i better stop. So I stop and she's like WTF is this, pushes me in further and continues to scream. It was then I realized she liked this sort of thing OR her previous 500 guys that she's fucked liked the fact she's being raped. that's FUcking messed up. I take what I've got and make the best of it. BOOM.

Now aside from screaming this, she also screamed out my asian name (yes since we were both chinese, I told her). I couldn't believe my ears. As I'm banging her in rhythmic fashion, she's yelling out my chinese name I haven't heard since I was 5 years old. I couldn't help myself. I CRACKED UP LAUGHING. I had to stuff my head in the pillow and laugh out loud. It was fucking hilarious. Unbelievable that I"m hearing this come out of her mouth. She was so drunk she had no idea what was going on. During different points of our session, she said she needed to puke. So I dragged her naked ass into the bathroom and let her puke. WHen she was done, I brought her back on the bed and continued (it was like a video game - pause, take a piss, unpause). She didn't reak or anything, and I didn't really care since I was pretty smashed myself and she continued the screaming. I wanted to put it in her mouth (don't ask me why...), even after all that puking. I guess I didn't remember she puked or felt that vomit was disgusting in anyway and it might be hot to stick my penis in a vomit-filled mouth. Anyway, I made sure she rinsed her mouth clean and put it in. She sucked for awhile and noticed that it's not good for her throat
and she needed to puke again. After that I decided it was time to sleep and by that time she passed out. Since I haven't squirted on a girl's face before and I always wanted to do it....i did. I guess it doesn't count if she's unconscious? OH well. Still good.

And so ends the saga of FreakyNative....I haven't heard from her since that day...I wonder why.....It would be good to see her again....she was by far the best I've ever had and MOre. Experienced sexpert indeed. Come back FreakyNative.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Maestro Parties with Sorority BMV

The Maestro often gets invited to house parties and there he instills his crazy aura and party atmosphere into everyone, which makes them all have a good time. That and the fact that I'm designated i get to mix drinks - I'm pretty good at it, after bartending a lot of parties, the funny thing is i don't have my license yet and I don't think i'll get one - waste of money and time. I see a ton of bartenders out there who literally suck ASS. I mean especially at FH - I saw this guy take out 5 beers - 1 by 1...out of the fridge and proceed to uncap them 1 by 1, taking 2seconds each. I was so pissed I almost jumped over and uncapped his head with the bottle opener....holy fuck, i mean if you're gonna bartend at least pretend like you know what you're doing. The bar was packed this one time....this brown girl in front of me waited more than 30 mins (I had come back after smokes with friends and still she was waiting). In 2 seconds I can uncap all 5 beers and more...and the worst part wasn't this. He looked like one of those football jocks that could tackle 300 pounds of flesh and bone, but took years to open a bottle of beer. I mean you're on the football team for god's sake, don't all your post celebrations end with beer? Or did those cheerleaders open them for you, you big pussy. Sometimes I had to tell bartenders what proportions of alcohol to put in the shots/drinks cause they're RETARDED and lost the CHEAT sheet that they usually have at the bar. Seriously, the biggest bunch of loser bartenders ever. There is the exception of 1. She was the hottest I've ever seen....blonde hair but with asian eyes, perfect 10 body and looks innocent and damn hot at the same time. I would stand at the bar shamelessly staring and flirting the times she was there. And even if she opened beer slower than the Loaf above, I didn't care - I mean the longer she took the more time I had to admire her beauty. I was pretty close to picking her up once, but thought she was out of my league at the time....if I see her now, there's no holding me back.
Several times I considered bartending at FH, but then I thought - How am I supposed to have fun with the ladies if i'm on the other side of the i said screw it, I'll let everyone suffer with the long waits and retarded drink service.

So it's Saturday night and I arrive at Sorority BMV 11pm (3 girls) TwinMee, TwinBee and TwinVee. The parties are usually at TwinBee's place, since she lives alone in a 3 storey, 4 bedroom house with a swimming pool and everything. It's paradise. I met them back in University and they're quite fun when drunk. This must've been around the 5 party we've had and during the day i was chatting with TwinVee about how I wanted always to have an orgy with the 3 of them (TwinVee and TwinMee both had bf's and I didn't mind). This leaves TwinBee who was the only one single. I think it's my compulsive nature that everyone should be with someone at the end of the night, but I told TwinVee that i didn't think TwinBee would be willing to hook up with me casually. Lo and behold, 10 mins later, TwinBee messages me saying "How do you know I won't hook up with you." You can guess what happened after - the floodgates have opened, prepare for full-frontal destruction.

Back to the party, I'm mixing everyone drinks that would get them pasted within 30 mins (i wanted to BBB as soon as possible and I couldnlt do it with TwinMee and TwinVee conscious.) See the problem was TwinMee was pretty close friends with both me and TwinBee and if she found out that i was sleeping with her....things would definitely turn sour. So we had to proceed with caution. A bottle of rum, tequila and vodka were demolished by only 6 ppl. I'm at a point where i can't even pour drinks anymore (i will later pay for this, severely.) TwinMee starts rambling on about me being the most perverted guy ever and I should goto hell. Yes i should, thanks for letting me know. TwinVee pukes all over the bathroom. The time is approaching. They go in their assigned rooms and begin to sleep/fuck. I was coincidentally assigned to TwinBee's room. We were both pretty drunk and at first we just lay there beside each other on the bed. Then it was as if a movie played itself in our heads and we just turned over and made out like we've just got out of prison. I had my condom ready. clothes were off in 10seconds. I was sheathed and ready....for the same amount of time the clothes came off. There was a problem. The Maestro had drank too much - drinking too much drains power from the mighty lightsabre. Couldn't for the life of me get the sucker in. THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING...she was wide open and ready to go...I curse at the 3 evil empty bottles. we manage to dry hump for about 20 minutes, the bed rocking the hard-wood floor so hard I found out the next morning that BOTH TwinMee and TwinVee couples HEARD it loud and clear. Was I ever fucked. Anyway, I barely finish off and pass out.

The next morning, TwinVee's Bf comes up and says "So Had fun last night?" Shit...they know...what are we going to do. We cleaned up the mess downstairs and I left the house as quickly as I could. I found out later on from TwinBee that TwinVee and her bf fucking broke the wooden futon they were fucking on. Great job, next time do it on the floor. I had to come back and help them fix it with super glue and stuff so her parents don't find out when they return in like a week. And so I return to the house later that night, all the while sneaking gropes and kisses at TwinBee when no one was watching. I thought everything was fine until TwinMee approaches me and says "Did anything happen last night? Did you have sex with my best friend?" I'm like...uh....of course not (well I didn't cause Mr. limpy was having problems - I'm never drinking again.) But she already knew cause she Heard us loud and clear. Damn hardwood floors. Damn the vents that carry breathing sounds to the basement.
Things were a little awkward after - TwinBee felt super guilty about betraying TwinMee - how is it betraying her? Just because TwinMee had feelings for me doesn't mean you can't sleep with me. HAAHHAAHAHAH. And plus, I wasn't going OUT with TwinMee, she friggin has a BF, who by the way is the biggest fruitbag on the planet - The guy hates me with a passion. The guy has eyes burning with jealousy it hurts to look at him. Then again, his eyes aren't straight, so i can never tell if he is really looking at me or not. Yes I'm horrible. Hey, I'm not the only one who thinks this, TwinBee and TwinVee started it first. I'm just re-iterating their comments. After awhile, I finally convince TwinBee to be my FB. It certainly is a major plus when a girl lives by herself in a house. But it is not a plus when she lives with her brother, who comes home every so often. Most of the time, she would call me when her brother leaves for the night to sleep at his Gf's house. I drive over around 11pm-midnight and stay until I have to work the next day. Sometimes multiple sessions get the picture. This continues on for about 2 months and I'm feeling quite happy, until TwinMee messages me and says she broke up with her BF. UH OH. Target locked and acquired: ME. Then she goes on telling me how she already had sex and is no longer a virgin - which to me means "Yes you can fuck me now, cause I'm ready for something casual like you had with TwinBee." How wrong I was, but i didn't know until 6 months later when she got back together with her bf. I'll save that story for another time.

We set a date - clubbing downtown and I prep my car with the necessary materials: Blanket and condoms. Yes even though I'm clean and TwinMee's bf was a virgin before she banged her, I don't want to take my chances. Play safe and use it.
I pick TwinMee up around 10pm and she's pissed that I was late 30 mins - I like doing this, makes the girl all agitated and sexual tension just peaks for them. Anyway, we arrive at the club Distrikt and wait outside for around an hour. Finally get in, bought a couple of drinks and someone removed her collar. She was all over me, grinding and grabbing me everywhere. She even went so far as to slide her hands down my pants and up my shirt. I was sober cause I had to drive and seeing her like this did not please me. TwinMee was not the most attractive girl out there, neither was TwinBee, but at least TwinBee was cuter than TwinMee. Still I looked around to see if I knew anyone and if they saw this crazy biatch stealing a grab at my golden sceptre. The night progresses and I had to get a drink. I think I ordered 2 shots of whiskey and chugged them one after the other. I go back to the dance floor and didn't give a shit what happened at this point. I grab her ass, breasts, even gave her a hickie - in the middle of the dance floor. I've had enough - "lets get out of here." We leave the club and get into the car. Drive back to a well-lit parking lot near her apt. and go nuts. But BEFORE this happens she explains to me how hurt she was when I slept with TwinBee blah blah blah. I told her it's just for fun, just like what we're about to do - it's FUN. We get in the back and go at it....she's screaming my name like there's no tomorrow. I drop her back at her place and we cease contact for about 6 months. She felt too awkward. During this time, I was still BBBing TwinBee and Mary and TheNative. TwinBee never found out that I had this little one niter, until recently hahahaha. Oh well. But to this day, TwinMee still doesn't know that I was BBB her best friend for almost 6 months. Oh well, it shouldn't bother her anyway - why can't they just share me and be happy. Sigh.
I've suggested to TwinVee to join in the fun and BBB me as well. But she loves her BF, and maybe if I didn't BBB both her friends first she would've. I'm not joking. She knows about me and TwinBee that 1 night (not the subsequent FB sessions) and she knows about that one nite with TwinMee. It would be quite satisfactory if I completed the Triumvirate and BBB'ed TwinVee. It shouldn't be that hard, come back from England soon. I'll be waiting. I'm sure your BF wouldn't mind a threesome with me.

To this day, I'm still waiting for that orgy I've been suggesting. Who knows, maybe Christmas? Under the mistletoe?

Monday, December 20, 2004

Maestro Meets Mary: Part 2 - from Sweet innocent to WhoreNasty

Fast forward till about a year ago, when we started talking again. I have NO idea how it happened, but it started. From basic flirting, to full fledged CyberSex. Yes that's right, you hear about millions doing it, and yes I have done it.
It's too bad i don't have any history saved on instant messaging ( i deleted it all so as to protect myself from other girls and people that shouldn't be looking).
It turned out i was quite good and so good that it merited me a date...err i mean hookup. The first time we met, she drove to my house and picked me up (her house was a bad idea)...and we just went to a park down the street. I love this park, there are absolutely no lights in the parking lot so you could literally BBB outside on the pavement and no one will see. But then again, who wouldn't want to see us BBB. HAHAHA
So we're in the car and we go nuts....she had small tits, but they were amazing....i don'tknow....i guess i have a fetish with smooth and shaped...they don't need to be super sized like D or even C, but if there's a nice shape then you don't want to take your hands off.
She drops me home and that ends our first FB session - Fuck Buddy or Friends w/ Benefits (take your pick).

During the next month we hook up multiple times and Cyber A Lot more. She hasn't tried anything beyond the normal vaginal intercourse... so i decided to spice it up a little during the Cyber sessions in hopes of getting the real thing. Here's a taste:

Me: I'm slowly kissing your silk-smooth ears, my tongue swirling the lobes...
Mary: OH my GoD...that feels so goood....I'm do the same...moving down your neck and nipples
Me: yes very nice
. after a while of this foreplay gets pretty intense...i mean i can't even type properly
Me: I'm ravaging you hard like the beast that i am...
Mary: faster...faster....up and down updown
Me: Oohohoo...sooo gooosdd,keep ggonhggg {it's one hand typing at this point}
Mary: Bang me...harder...harder
Me: bnagging..fasterr...suck me dryyyy...
Mary: i'm sucking you so's so big....oh...
Me: i'm gonna comeee,,,keep suckkingg
Mary: it's sooo hot....mmmmmmm
Me: i have moree....spray it all over your face..... {She has never done this in real life....and she actually enjoyed it during score 1 for me next time we hook up }
Mary: lick's my turn....
{she comes....}
Mary: oh dad is coming down. ttyl

And I thought I'm the non-sensitive one. Hahahaa I'm cracking up pretty hard at this cause i'm wondering if her dad really did catch her sprawled all over her computer chair, wet as a soaked sponge with half her clothes off. Lucky for me he didn't, cause we continued to cyber lots more. Although she told me that her parents her noises and that's why her Dad came down....thought something was wrong....or she was in danger.....yes she was in danger alright...I blinded her with my cyberjuice.

We hooked up more. Rented a hotel for a night. BBB twice in 2 hours. She was so loud that the entire hall heard. Her exact words "Damn you're crazy...twice?" Oh well, when you're having a good time, share it with everyone else. Having tight ass parents, she had to leave pretty soon to get home. I almost stayed at the hotel room by myself...but to make use of my money spent - I decided to shower and use up as many free supplies as possible. I guess it's the asian side of me. The front desk clerk gave me a weird look, cause i JUST friggin checked in like 2 hours ago. Oh well, i didn't mess up the place.

We hooked up in the car. My car. her car. her residence. My house. She had a hot ass body....petite but i liked. A lot. I dontknow why i'm so into small girls. But that doesn't mean tall ones aren't welcome. ;)
Then the dreaded phrase in all FB episodes came out of her mouth "I can't do this anymore...I think i'm getting emotionally attached." She had spent a good year with gastro-psycho problems because of me after I dumped her 2 weeks after we went out. 2 Weeks!! come much emotional attachment can you put in someone after 2 weeks. and We didn't even BBB...we didn't even TAke our CLOTHES off!! So she dealt with that and now she's better...well not realy cause she's falling for me. So i said i understood and i didn't want to push her into doing something she didn't want. Although I still want her tight pussy pretty bad. Whatever, i knew she'll come crawling back. and crawlin back she DID. 2 weeks later, she messages:
"what the hell...I want you so're so hot."
Why Thank you. we hook up that same night ....this repeats for about another month,
until Finally she says she really is getting emotionally attached and we end it.

Then she hated me and got pissed that I get so drunk all the time and when I got sick she emailed me saying blahblahlahblabhlbah. Anyhow, it was a great time. I'm always open for more, if you can handle it.

And so ends the Story of Mary.

{side note: her real name isn't mary, but I entered her phone# as Mary in my cell so that others won't know it's i have to hide everything. But really I have nothing to hide. I'm just out to have some fun...who am i kidding....I just want BBB.}

Friday, December 17, 2004

Maestro meets Leslie: Part 3 - Maestro is Deflowered and Lied to

After dating BrickWall for 5 months, I could stand it no longer and had to break it off. During this time, I had been in contact with Leslie and thought about going back to her. I had heard from her friend that she had broken up with the guy she was seeing, BackStab, and was pretty upset. I took this golden oppurtunity to make my move. I started seeing her again, treating her to dinners, taking her out to shows, inviting her to my concert performances etc etc. She was the happy and fun-loving Leslie she once was. I had sincerely apologized to her for my behaviour in dumping her twice before and I was actually serious this time. Here's how it all began, on my bday:

Sept. 18, 2002
Seth had decided to be my DD, being the great bro he is, and we were off to FH for one of those HK jams. As usual it was an hour long drive and we talked about who I really wanted to date. I told him I missed Leslie but I also miss the fun being single - ie. having fun with Angels. Seth had also brought along some herbs for our enjoyment.

We arrive at around 9pm at the Angels' place to see if they wanted to join us, but they were too busy with assignments and crap and even though it was my bday, they couldn't make it. Seth waited outside while I went in. I knew they weren't going to come anyway, so I chilled in Drew's room for most of the time, helping her with her music assignment. After helping her, I decided to roll up the joint in her room and asked Drew if she wanted to have a session with us after. She obviously said no and I promptly left their house, with Cameron giving me a lollipop for my bday - ooooo how sweet. I called Turf on the way out and waited for him in the parking lot with Seth. When he arrived 10 mins later, we lit up and had the high of our lives. So baked. Good thing I wasn't driving. We figured it would be a good time to head over to the club.

10:30 we step inside to a half-empty FH. Not many hot girls, but a lot of young punks that looked like they should still be in elementary school sucking their mom's tit. I couldn't believe that these kids were 3 years younger - we certainly didn't look like this back then...did we? In the midst of my contemplating calling these kids' parents, I was approached by 5 girls from accounting - I had known them since 3 years ago and they all wished me a warm happy bday. Time for drinks. They buy me a shot of polar bear and I bought myself a smirnoff ice. I chat with 1 of them (Madeleine's friend, Polly, but Madeleine wasn't there) and make fun of the little toddlers running around this place.

10 minutes later, I see my Sorority Sisters (see Maestro Parties with Sorority BMV) and Leslie and her friends followed soon after. Leslie was wearing a sparkly low cut top that showed off her c-cup cleavage. Moving down, I see a short black skirt that made almost made me topple over. I had never seen her wear ANYTHING like this - the last time I saw her at a club she wore a yellow t-shirt and jeans...UGH. I was in visual shock. Anyway, they buy me a tequila shot and we all drink - Leslie had no clue how to take tequila so I taught her and offered to lick her hand, although she refused. I get 2 more smirnoff's for myself and by this time I was high and semi-buzzed. Let me reiterate that being drunk and high at the same time is the quickest way to a good time as well as losing most of your memory of the night. So what better way to achieve this other than to chug both of these 7% vodka mixers as soon as they're in my hand. This turned out to be a bad idea since everything started spinning quicker and moving faster, but time seemed like it stood still (read Tings with FHDoll). It was at this point that I went crazy on the dance floor and anything after that I did not remember. All I remember was bits and pieces of what happened AFTER we left the club. What I say below is mostly testimonies of Leslie and Seth and some other friends.

Apparently, I had danced with 3 other girls and choo-chooed along the grind train with them and Seth. Leslie was not too happy about this, but she was pretty drunk and wanted a good time as well. Throughout the night, slow dances were played and during one such set, Leslie and I had a very deep conversation about our relationship (mind you I had no recollection of this whatsoever, but Leslie called me the next day and told me what happened.) Leslie talked about how Backstab, the guy she dated for a year, was 10 times worse than me. I didn't think there were any guys worse than me, but then again I'm not a bad person, I'm just blinded to the right choices. Anyhow, this infuriated me to the point where I wanted to call Seth and leave to pummel Backstab's ass at his house. Leslie managed to calm me down and continue talking - she's really good at this, I don't know how I can maintain conversations this long with her. She told me about feelings and how relationships aren't totally based on feeling, but rather 2 people sharing good times and bad - I felt like I was reciting wedding vows in a But at the time, I had strong feelings for Leslie and listened to everything she said. I don't remember anything else that happened, but as the night ended, Seth went to get the car while I sat down with Leslie outside on a hill near some evergreens.

Before any conversation had started, I needed to urinate as my bladder was about to explode with alcohol-saturated piss. I couldn't wait any longer to find a bathroom and went inside the evergreen beside Leslie and pissed. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.. When this was done, Leslie picked up on conversation again - I don't remember a thing she said as I was still high drunk. Then we started making out (probably because I was too tired of her talking all the time) and I took this oppurtunity to slide my hands into her low cut top and up her skirt. I mean, who told her to make it so accessible. Thank you fashion designers. Now to me, this entire scene outside took about 20-30 mins max. But my perception of time, of course, is totally fucked up because of alcoholic herb mix. I get a phone call - it's Seth. I answer it

Seth: Where the FUCK are you!!! I've been waiting here for 1.5 hours....holy FUCK, get your ass over here NOW. I'm in the front.
Me: Wahhh??? it's only been like 20 mins man....or less?
Seth: You're FUCKED uP, we're leaving NOW.
(Seth was not happy. He told me later he would've ditched my ass if it wasn't my bday...woops sorry haha =P)

So I quickly drag Leslie to the car and drive to her place. I drop her off and we passionately kiss for another 10 mins. She then says "Say it. I want to hear you Say it."
I told her I loved her for a very long time - Yes I said it....yes I guess I'm capable of love, but did I know what it was? Of course not. Anyhow, this sparked the return of Maestro to Leslie.

On the way home, Seth was ranting to me how stupid drunk I was and blah blah blah.....ZZZZZzzzzz I had passed out in the middle of it. Thanks Seth for a great night!

Girl of the Night: who else.
Drinks: joint, tequila, 4 smirnoff ices, possibly more shots - I don't remember
Rating: 9.1/10 - I like hot clothing where you can slide your hands in.

Sept 25. 2002
The Week after was another special event at FH. I wasn't planning on going but decided at the last minute. Seth had already made his way down there to take care of some personal things. I was supposed to go shopping with 'Jadie' and go for some drinks afterwards, but she cancelled on me saying she was too tired - what a BITCH. I hate how girls just cancel on you last minute. If you don't want to go out, just say no. I mean it's fine when it really is an emergency, but most of the time it's not - have some consideration - but who am i to talk ahahahhaahahah. I was all dressed and everything ready to impress and have a fun date, but NOOOooooo she had to ditch my ass. Well, I decided I was going to go home empty handed and decided to drive an hour into party at FH. [I'll have you note that last week I was with Leslie and already I'm trying to date someone else. I don't quite remember, but at that point I was still reluctant to commit? Anyhow, I just wanted some fun. I have no clue.]

Around 11 I meet up with Seth and we head over to FH to have our usual Smirnoff and smoke. I told Seth I was driving and didn't want to drink too much....but I guess when you say these things, the opposite is bound to happen. Got a couple more shots after with some girls that I knew and then saw my beloved Angelic Beauties, My Angels. Had more drinks with them, they were pretty happy to see me. I left them to go back to Seth and his ex-gf at the time and she comes over and asks "Do you want to get hooked up with a girl?" I thought about this for a minute, I thought about Leslie and then said "yeah sure whatever..."
She pulls me over to this girl and goes "She's ALL yours." I get introduced and we were dancing. This girl, whose name I have totally forgotten, had a bandana with smooth tanned skin, about 5'3 - DAMN hot. Seth and his ex-gf leave me and this girl alone and then saw another cutie nearby whom I almost went for as well. What is going on???? hahaha. After some more dancing, I decided to leave this group and look for my Angels.

I see Drew not far away, and drag her to bar for 2 shots. I had almost forgotten it was her bday so I treated her to a polar bear and a southern comfort. After these shots, I was completely wasted. Nothing exciting happened before the club closed. The usual dancing and chilling with Drew and stuff. Seth left early with his gf and called me to be careful since it was extremely foggy outside. I didn't believe how bad it was until I stepped outside. Literally, the fog was so thick I could BBB bandana girl in the parking lot and no one would see. I couldn't drive back to town like this, inebriated and in thick fog, so I drove over to Leslie's place to see if she was still awake. All the lights were out, so I didn't want to piss her off (since I was out partying without her anyway). I called up TwinMee to ask for Leslie's number to make sure she was home, but she told me not to go over there and gave me her friend's number, Juli. I told TwinMee how Fucked I was and couldn't drive and everything and I'm so lucky to have such a nice sister blahblbhlabha. I call Juli and tell her what happened and she offered her living room for me to crash until I sobered up. She told me not to goto Leslie's place since it was full with roomates etc already. So nice of her. I pop on over, still drunk. She offers me water and I set my phone alarm for 4:30am. I woke up at 4:30 to find Juli cooking me eggs and toast...I could NOT believe this - either she's a great friend or she wanted me BAD. I thanked her kindly, although I could've thanked her very very intimately....but didn't. I drove home, sober but barely stayed awake. I have to stop drinking so much and staying up so late.

The next morning I woke up I couldn't speak, my head was spinning and my throat was coarse. I had gotten sick. Took 2 days off work because of that, serves me right to be so stupid.

Girl of the Night: Random bandana girl
Rating: 8.2/10 - fucked myself up is no good, but got plenty of fun
Drinks: too many to drive home.

I know you've read the title and you're thinking - where the fuck is the sex? Well thank you for patiently waiting. Here it is:

Oct. 5, 2002.
Leslie gave me a call around 7pm and told me her parents were leaving the house until very late. I was very happy to hear this since this means me getting some action. I promptly leave the house and ate dinner at her place while listening to some cds that she wanted me to bring.

After dinner, talked in the living room for a bit. I'm fumbling through her things and found a vibrating grenade. I pick it up, pull the string and it vibrates vigorously for a good 5 seconds. I pick it up again, look at her and give her this "do-you-stick-this-in-your-pussy" look and pull on the string again and shove it between her legs. I'm not kidding you. We had quite the laugh. Then she brought up the event last week where I called up her friend pissed drunk - SHIT, she found out. So I had to tell her everything that happened that night, but ultimately I wanted to be with her. Then we just let loose on the carpet like wild animals. I carried her all the way upstairs and threw her on her bed. I've never been to her room before - a fairly large room with a queen size bed. Not much decoration, but felt cozy. She told me her sheets were dirty, or rather the blanket covering the bed is dusty. I remove this top covering and her clothes, respectively. In less than a minute, we were both completely naked....then I went down on her for the first time. It felt pretty nice for her, as well as for me. Then all of a sudden, as if her parents had walked in, she sat up. I'm like WTF??? What did I do wrong?
She starts talking about us and more talking about things that I really didn't care for since the more she talked, the more my penis went limp. I could take it no more, and I just stuck my finger into her mouth. I put it in and slowly took it out and did some thrusting motion - that ought to shut her up. She got the idea and then said "I don't know how to suck cock." So I taught her with my fingers and I give her props although she couldn't learn to speak or write english, she definitely learned how to suck cock pretty quickly. She was definitely WAY better than BrickWall and almost exploded into her mouth, but she stopped before I could since she didn't want to take the shock of all that liquid gushing into her throat...yet.
She finished with her delicate hands and it went all over her body. I mean so much cum everywhere, tits, neck, stomach, arms, even her sheets...oh man....

After getting dressed and cleaned up, she escorted me out fairly quickly in case her parents came back.

10 mins later, she calls and said her parents were home. That was too close. phew.

Oct 10, 2002
Another FH night. I drove this time, since Seth was kind enough to drive during my bday. We arrive quite early, around 8pm, picked up Leslie and chilled at Sorority Sister's house for an hour talking about random things.

10:20pm went to William's coffee to look for Seth's ex since she was complaining that this guy was stalking her and asking her for French tutelage. So we decided to have a little and scare the living hell out of this guy. We walked in pretending to be thugs and I just stood there looking scary while Seth flirted with his ex in front of this guy. Hilarious to see the look on his face. His eyes were glued to his book after 2 mins and didn't look up once. We decide that enough fun was had and we were pretty sure that this guy won't bother Seth's ex anymore. Mission accomplished.

20 mins later we arrive at FH to see an extremely long line-up. I had dropped Leslie and Seth to wait in line earlier but when I got there they were still at the very end - which was hella far. I told them to just walk up to the front cause I knew people there and sure enough, there were friends in the front - they let us in and we are all happy.

We meet Seth's friends and various other people. Grab us each a smirnoff and off we went to dance. I played some drinking games with Leslie afterwards and then got some more drinks - Southern comfort and another Smirnoff. I almost puked cause I've been drinking so much lately, the taste didn't go down too well. It was good, Leslie was quite high and this I was very much enjoyed. I took her to the dance floor once again and begin Full Frontal Grindage for about 20 mins? or more? Enough to get me hard and I don't get hard very easily on the dance floor anymore.

After we had more shots, Leslie had to puke. She felt much better after and I told Seth I was leaving with Leslie. This was approx 1:05am. Seth needed his phone which was in my car, so I brought it out to the patio for him to catch. He told me to call him when I was done.

10 mins later I was in Leslie's room on her bed. She then began her signature "Talk" which lasted more than an hour. I was kinda drunk so I don't recall what she said. I pulled the same trick and stuck my finger in her mouth. We started making out and then I pull it out of my coat - a Trojan lubraicated condom. She laughs and then takes it out of my hand. She turns serious and says "Are you Sure?"
Me: I've never been more sure of anything else.
I check the time and it was 3:45am - WTF she was talking for more than 2 hours. I guess it'll be worth it, but Seth is going to kill me since FH ended over an hour ago. I coudln't believe we talked for that long... Anyways, our clothes came off and I slide the rubber on.

[Before I go any further, I'd like to tell you that I was still a virgin and she told me she still was as well and that she never did it with that BackStab guy. The key word is she TOLD me.]

I almost explode in the anticipation since I'm going to BBB for the first time ever. BrickWall's halfways don't count. I slide it in slowly, and as expected she yelps in pain as I penetrate deeper. From my previous experience, I learned how to get it in better, but prayed that I didn't meet another brickwall. To my surprise, it slid in all the way with ease but I didn't feel anything - maybe the condom was too thick? Anyhow, thursting ensues in rhythmic fashion until I felt the warm sensation. Wow, it was amazing - everything I thought and dreamt it would be. Started banging harder and I'm kissing her all over. I can still smell the vodka in her breath - I guess she was still pretty high..all the better for me. Then she blurts out "Oh...yesyes keep going...don't stop!" Now if the ease of entry didn't surprise me, THIS definitely did. She must've did some major BBB with BackStab to be able to utter these phrases of pleasure. I was thinking to myself, did she lie to me about being a virgin? I guess I didn't care at the time because I was in another world - the BBB world and couldn't careless for anything else except how deep my penis was inside her vagina and how wet it was. ahem. I was at the point of climax, but decided I could last a little longer....but then said, WTF BOOM. I came inside her with the condom on and went on for about 10 mins. I don't think I've orgasmed this big, ever. But it's not surprise considering it's my first BBB.

Wow. That's all i could say. I take out the condom and since I was quite inexperienced, I was paranoid that the condom might leak. So I go to the bathroom and fill it with water to see if there were any holes. I take it back out to the bedroom and show Leslie, then I kinda tapped her face with it and said "We're good. It's not leaking" HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH.

It was time to leave since Seth was waiting a hell of a long time. I look at the clock and it said 4:30am. I told Leslie I loved her and went to pick Seth up.
Seth was already there waiting with his buddies and I could tell they ALL knew I had the fuck of my life. I was still in shock as to what had happened - I couldn't see straight. Seth offers me a cigarette, he knew that I never smoked after FH, but this time he knew I needed it and damn did it feel good. During the drive back, all I could think about was that first BBB.

Girl of the nite: Leslie....
Drinks: Smirnoffs, SC's (souther comforts)
Smokes: 1
Rating: 9.9/10 - 1st BBB ever.

Now when I talked to my Sorority Sisters BMV about this experience they totally didn't believe that Leslie was a virgin when we BBB'ed. B and V were both quite experienced and said that the first time is pretty much impossible and it would hurt a lot. Leslie had told me it did hurt and that she's never done it before. What LIES!!! I actually felt pretty upset about this that BackStab got to have her first. But then again, no one else is to blame except me for leaving Leslie in the first place. M was still a virgin and had some curiousity in her eyes haha. I told her it's so amazing. BBB.

So I lost my virginity to Leslie and was lied to. But I had an amazing first BBB.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Maestro spills beer on Madeleine and gets rewarded

June 15, 2002
It's been 3 days since I broke up with BrickWall and there is the usual Summerfest party at FH. Some people say I have no heart. I just say, why dwell on the past - just move on ASAP. And Move on I did.

9:45pm - headed towards FH to find a line longer than Star wars opening. I had about $80 in my pocket, but no ticket. I looked around for scalpers but found none, but I did find a cute Asian chick checking me out - 5'2, short black hair, tight ass... So I smiled back but too bad I didn't see her later on.

10:15pm - a couple comes to the line selling their tickets because they didn't want to wait in line anymore. I offered to buy but they didn't have change. They sold it to another bastard.

10:25pm - a drunken lad gets kicked out of FH holding a ticket. I promptly approach him and buy it off him for $5. He told me to have a great time and get some girls. I declare this guy to be way cool.

10:45pm - I'm still in line.

11:00pm - I finally get in and see BrickWall's friend Jay, had a few drinks with him and then left. I searched for my Angels, but they were nowhere to be found.

11:30pm - 2 smirnoffs and 2 vodka shots with buddy Calvin.

11:35pm - a polar bear with Calvin's friend, Klein

11:40pm - Angels finally arrive. Turned out, Cameron knew Calvin and friend - I also find out much later Klein had a crush on Cameron and asked her out 2 years ago.

11:45pm - Went out to patio. Patio was nothing like the last time. No girls took off my shirt and licked stickers to my chest.

midnight - See FluxCap and had a tequila with her. She leaves quickly after.
2 mins later, FluxCap's bf comes up to me asking where FluxCap went - I said she was with her friends somewhere. He then asks a 2nd time - I'm like "my answer didn't change between the first time you asked me...and now."

12:10pm - I find FluxCap dancing and tell her that her bf is looking for her. She says "I KNOW that. He's gonna have to FIND me then huh hahaha *wink". Basically she couldn't careless and would've grinded my ass on the floor if I initiated. But I had standards hahaha.

12:20pm - Madeleine walks in - hottest creature I've ever seen. Huge tits, perfect body, 5"8 almost as tall as me, damn she was hot. SUPER MODEL HOT. I had met Madeleine through some other friends and we've gotten quite close. Going to parties with Trekki as well. I introduced her to Seth and then me and Seth went out for drink and smoke after Madeleine went back to her friends.

12:30pm - Talked about Madeleine. Seth said if she was CBC, he would be ALL OVER her. Unfortunately she was HK Fob, but was super hot.

12:45 - see the angels but they didn't feel like talking, so I went over to Madeleine and friends. I saw my 1 and only rival, SmashFace - this guy pissed me off back in 1st year and I never forgave him for humiliating me. I took this oppurtunity to show him what I'm made of...and started dancing with Madeleine.

1:00am - had shots with Madeleine - polar bear, choco martini, BrickWall's friend bought me a Caesar.

1:10am - had smoke with Seth while Madeleine stayed inside - she said she quit a long long time ago. Outside, we see Bubbles and this is what was said:

Seth: Hey Bubbles, Haven't seen you in awhile, where's your BF?
Bubbles: Oh I don't have a bf. (looks at me) You're my bf now.
Me: Wow, That fast???? Ok then. (what a fake BITCH...get away from me you WHORE).

we go back inside and Madeleine and her friend, Lisa sees that I"m not smiling.
Madeleine: What's wrong? You don't look too happy?
Me: (I smile)
Madeleine's friend Lisa: That's because you're not with Madeleine (points to Madeleine beside her) ;).

They head to the bathroom shortly after this and when they got back from the bar, I bought them drinks. Then I say to Madeleine "Let's dance. Just you." She agreed and we approach the dancefloor. SmashFace was keeping tabs on me all night long and I could tell he wasn't happy about this now. oh well, FUCK him hahaha.

1:30am - See BrickWall, but she didn't even want to talk to me at all. I proceeded to grind Madeleine.

1:45am - Last call. Grab beer for everyone.

2:00am - back to dance floor, I see Madeleine and she accidently knocks the bottle of beer out of my hand. The bottle hits her thigh and sprays beer all over her feet. She's not happy, but I told her it's not my fault. Lisa starts to take Madeleine to the bathroom to clean up and on the way Madeleine says "You owe me a Kiss." Before I had a chance to respond, she had already left.

2:15am - I wait for her return and we dance once more. Lisa had left us alone.
Madeleine: We can't dance that close, I'm afraid you'll like me.
Me: Reaaaly? well Do you like me then?
She doesn't answer and after awhlie she says: How about that kiss?

2:18am - Our foreheads touch and kissed her lips. In the middle of the dance floor. It started off slowly and then full tongue action, I felt like I could lick the back of her throat it was so nuts.

2:21am - She stops abrubtly and says: Do you kiss like that with all your girls?
Me: uhhhh.....Sometimes??? (HAHAHAHAAH I couldn't lie to her)
Madeleine pushes me away like Elaine on Seinfeld and storms to the water area.
I had this bewildered look on my face, wondering what I had said to make her so pissed off. I follow her and all the while, I had a crowd staring at me -mainly because they saw we were making out on the dance floor. Normally making out is standard scenes in typical clubs, but campus clubs are different - they are more conservative - so to see someone making out in the middle of the dance floor is like seeing someone BBB in the middle of a real club.
I follow Madeleine and ask her what I said wrong.

Madeleine: you know you're the 3rd guy I've kissed like that with?
Me: Really? Well I don't kiss like that all time time. Just that you're special tonight.
I forget what else we talked about but she wanted time to think about us.

Near the end of the night, told Seth what had happened and he gave me props haha. He introduced me to a friend of his and all headed over to the plaza for food after the club.

I stayed with Madeleine at the Pita place until 3:30am. Her friends were playing drinking games, only there was no alcohol at the pita so whoever lost had to kiss the winner, no matter male or female. I think they were just doing this to see me kiss Madeleine again.

We finish our pitas and Lisa decides to drive off leaving me alone with Madeleine. I walked her home - apparently she lives WITH LISA!! I guess I have to thank her for giving me some quality time. Anyways, we knock on the door to find Lisa opening it with her BF at the back. I go into Madeleine's room and we talk. I tried to comfort her about her problems and then we just made out. The best breasts I have ever felt in my life. They were perfectly shaped and huge - probably C or even D.

You have to wonder: What happened with Angels? Well I guess I kinda just left them....or they left early , I have no idea.

Anyhow, after that night, Madeleine was reluctant to start something with me because I was "Nice" and "such a good friend" and other bullshit along the lines of this. But I had my fun and I'll never forget it.

Girl of the Night: Madeleine
Drink: too much
Rating: 8.9/ 10 - Not hooking up with Madeleine after was the only setback of this night.

Maestro meets the BrickWall: Part 2

As I said earlier, I missed BrickWall and so I get back together with her. Now this did not come easily, since she was very informed about my reputation through her friends. During previous nights at the infamous FH club, Seth had pulled BrickWall for a 1 on 1 talk. He told her how I was still a virgin - THANKS A LOT SETH - and that I really did miss her and everything. This continued on for about a week and finally she agreed to start "seeing me". I was very happy and decided to visit her at her campus every week.

Things went quite well, her friends were starting to accept me again and I felt that I no longer needed to The Maestro - like that's ever gonna happen. We planned a trip to visit Jusher and Ranch in a city a couple hours away for a weekend.

We arrive Friday night looking for Ranch's place. We could not for the life of us find the number. I think it was 580 and a half. I didn't believe this number was possible for a place of a residence (other than in the teenage mutant ninja turtles movie where Michaelangelo orders a pizza at some number and a quarter 34 1/4.) We finally find the place - a tiny stairwell leading up to several apartments that was in between Zellars and some other place. Ranch was nice enough to let me and BrickWall stay over. Me and BrickWall had previously discussed having some BBB since we were in love and both virgins. I guess it wasn't going to happen at Ranch's place of course hahaha. But before we slept, Jusher had called us to goto a house party.

Let me tell you that this house party was nothing I had ever experienced. It was a 3 floor apartment with an open bar/dj in the main floor and chilling areas in the others. I noticed many many hot girls there (I guess our campus really lucked out and got all the geeky girls). Jusher's good friend who hosted the party introduced us to some nice ladies - all the while BrickWall is holding my hand tight cause she wanted all those girls to know I was taken - tied down. I didn't feel that comfortable with that - I guess I wasn't in love???? Anyhow, we drank a TON of alcohol that night. So much so that Ranch, Jusher, BrickWall and I were scrambling downtown to find food. Everything looked so weird. Maybe because I had half a spliff after the party too. We eat some pizza and crash back at Ranch's place.

The next morning, Ranch busted out a kickass breakfast - sausage and eggs - and after enjoying this meal, we head out for a tour of his campus. It look pretty nice - I have no better words to describe it haha. This tour lasted about 30 mins before we had to meet up with Jusher to watch Blade II. The movie was not bad; I was thoroughly impressed with the special effects. Unfortunately, after the movie was over, BrickWall and I had to return back to our hometown.

The bus ticket cost almost $50 for the both us, but it was well worth a good party and quality time spent with BrickWall. During the bus ride, we tried to make out as much as possible.
We arrive 4 hours later, where Seth so kindly picked us up to goto his friend, Bubbles' bday party. Now Bubbles was about the same height as BrickWall, 5'1, but knew how to dress like a skank and act like one too. My various sources have told me she is the absolute whore in bed - Leslie lived in the same house as Bubbles one term and she told me Bubbles and her bf fucked everyday several times. So much so that she could not concentrate on her work at all. To summarize, Bubbles is a real flirt and will do anything to get her way. She strings many guys along and will never fail to seduce one and then dump him face first into a pile of shit.

We arrive at this party only to be truly disappointed. I wanted to leave as soon as i stepped in - actually I never wanted to see Bubbles in the first place, Seth decided be the nice guy and attend her party. I think she was one of those popular girls that invite people to their party even though all of those people hate her secretly but don't show it. It's one of those things. She is so fake. And the last thing I do is to be fake with her.

I didn't even stay to have a drink, we leave after 10 mins and BrickWall decided to stay at my house since her place was on the other side of town. Now this normally wouldn't have been a problem, but this home was not campus home, but real home with parents. Here's what happened:

Me: Hi Mom, BrickWall's gonna stay over tonight
Mom: ooh Hi BrickWall....(motions me to come up as she wants to talk to me alone)
Mom: You have to sleep in different rooms
Me: But Why??? I'll just sleep on a sleeping bag and she'll have my bed
Mom: nonono, Not in my house ok? (she basically didn't want me to BBB BrickWall with her there)

So i get shafted, but I guess I expected it coming from parents and all, which is why I have to move out as soon as possible. So we sleep in different rooms.

I wake up at 7am and sneak over to her room. Fooled around for a long time - but no BBB. I told her that the next time I see her, it'll be BBB time. (Sometimes I don't believe the words that come out of my mouth).

A week later is Easter Weekend. I decided to spend the weekend at her place. Now Good Friday means fasting - eat 1 full meal that day only. It also means abstaining from meat for the entire day. I don't understand the logic, but the whole point of fasting is to put yourself in a mental preparatory state. Me and BrickWall had 1 meal that day - Red Lobster. Full Ultimate feast with Clam Chowder, salad, mussels, crab legs, lobster tail, garlic shrimp, jumbo fried shrimp, potato and salmon.
After that meal, we went back to her condo. The lobby was more grandiose than a 6 star hotel...I've never seen anything like it. Marble Archways, chandeliers, bellboys and fountains - magnificent. Then it clicked - BrickWall lives here? I wonder what her place would like if the lobby's like this!! But alas, all the food had to go somewhere, and at that moment it needed to go OUT. Of. My ASS. So I tell BrickWall this and she says "You're not going at my place.." I tell her I knew that, and went forth in search of a lobby washroom.

I find the men's room and open the gold plated doors. To my left is a marble sink, with faucets fit for a king. The bathroom stalls were up ahead and each had its own maple-finish wooden door. I open this door to see that each stall is actually a separate room. I could literally fit a queen size bed and a treadmill in there beside the porcelein toilet. I take a seat and felt like I was King Maestro taking a massive shit. Maybe I've gotten too used to dirty washrooms and never lived a spoiled life.

30 mins must've passed in that washroom. I dreamed that hot maids in lingerie would come and wipe my ass too. Sadly, that didn't happen as I cycle through the 3ply Royal bathroom tissue and clean myself up. Everything was automatic, from the soup dispenser to the faucets to the paper towel dispenser. I walked out feeling more refreshed than an 8 hour sleep. The first thing BrickWall says "What the HELL were you doing in there???? Are you ok? How's your stomach?"
I had to assure her that I was so mesmerized by the bathroom architecture, that I fell into a trance. I tell her this after "if the bathrooms are like that, I might die if I saw your place."

We enter the elevator, and I'm guessing that she lived maybe the 10th floor or so, but alas, I am proved wrong as she pulls out a special key card that allows access to the penthouse. THE FRIGGIN PENTHOUSE - I'm GOING TO STAY at the PENTHOUSE SUITE 28th floor????.
As I'm calming down from the excitement, she opens the door to her apartment and it was huge. Humongous living room/dining room, a balcony that still freaks me out everytime I think about it (It's so FUCKING HIGH UP) 2 bedrooms and a washroom similar to the one I took my Kingly shit in.

We get settled down as I had brought over some movies (Zoolander and A.I.) We watched A.I. first - as I had already seen the movie, I wandered about trying to pass the time. Near the end, BrickWall was in tears cause it was so sad - although I don't remember myself crying - but then again, I didn't really have emotions back then. After the movie was over, I brought out my surprise - half a joint left over from the trip last week. We go outside to the balcony and smoke it. She had never smoked weed before but since a lot of her friends at boarding school (YES BOARDING SCHOOL) smoked, she decided to give it a try. 20 mins later, we were on her couch, more hornier than 2 rhinoceroses in heat. I guess weed does that to you. I mean I was so hard that I could have poked a hole in a wall if I tried....but I'm getting ahead of myself.

We're literally ripping each other's clothes off when she said to move into her bedroom cause there might be peepers with telescopes. I carry her with my muscular arms into her room and continue. I ruffle through my bags during this and take out a condom - my first ever that i will use. Those Dons did a good job of teaching us inexperienced frosh how to use a rubber. I followed their exact instructions and lo and behold - my dick has a hoodie. She was soaking wet down there, and I'm licking it as she's screaming louder than a banshee. She was enjoying herself and so was I. I get ready to launch my submarine, but for some reason it doesn't go in. She's screaming in pain as I try to go in as slow as possible, but I didn't understand. She was closed up - vagina is blocked. I couldn't believe this - I could hardly stick my pinky in there. I try for around 20 mins or more, when everything just dried up - her pink swat, my condom, my mouth cause a) I tried to wet her with all my saliva b) I got dry mouth from the friggin weed.

This attempt fails once again when I took out a 2nd condom. My submarine has met a brickwall - hence the name. So we performed oral all night. If you want to feel super horny, just do weed. Seriously, I must've cummed at least 6 times that night, or more...I don't even remember ...and in various ways - oral, hand...anything BUT VAGINAL INTERCOURSE. Throughout the night, I would wake up and try again - only to fail miserably. As you can see, my ego took a big hit after this experience. When I told Seth about this, he could only laugh - but I didn't believe that the Maestro is lacking skills in this department. And indeed he did not ;). I must've spent half a box of rubbers and I realized that the problem wasn't ME, but her...well indirectly it was me for not calming her enough? I don't know, but anyway it was her frigging fault that I did not get any BBB. She had a condition called vaginismus, which basically the vagina shuts in so tight that it literally fells like a wall and nothing can enter. THANKS.

These frustrations will continue to increase as I am never successful in getting it in. There was one time I was halfway in, but other than that I hit a brick wall every time. That coupled with the incessant clinginess and annoying character made me break up once and for all with her. She was upset, but I could not deal with it. Yes I am irresponsible, I know - but what would you have done? BBB. DTB.

You would expect more from the BrickWall story, but other than cut-eye and evil looks to my Angels and me, I have ceased contact once and for all.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Maestro Wants Leslie Back

After many hand/tit jobs later, I grew bored of Leslie and broke up with her twice. I decided that my heart just wasn't into this relationship and I could not continue dragging it on. I wanted to experience the world out there, instead of being tied down - meaning I wanted to BBB every girl on the face of the planet. So I broke up with Leslie and it felt good - I was free from the bondage of strict rules (she was worse than my mom; telling me not to go clubbing, not to smoke, not to drink so much, take care of my body (well she took care of my dick pretty well), etc etc. Anyhow, I left for the good of both of us and back to whore-hungry self I still am.

Let me tell a bit about the relationship:
It consisted of me giving her ESL lessons because her English was worse than a 3 year old Chinese Retard. Seriously, I message her on ICQ and I had to send back corrected grammar/spelling errors in square brackets. The Maestro has become ESL teacher. The stuff I have to go through to get some BBB. Some examples:

Leslie: I just wanna to see you next tuesday.
Me: You can't say WANNA TO, it's either WANNA or WANT TO cause WANNA is short for WANT TO. So really you're saying WANT TO TO - you sound like a redundant retard.
Leslie: Oh woopsee! I try not to do next time.
3 or 4 sentences later SHE DOES IT AGAIN
Leslie: I feels like I wanna to eat the dinner with you in your caf
(These are typical of conversations I had with her - no exaggeration. I refrain from adding more examples for fear I would become intellectually and linguistically STUPIDER everytime I do. I mean it's gotten to a point where I'm so used to the phrase "I just wanna to" that when my friends and I say it to poke fun - we don't find it WRONG.)

The fact that Seth commented that she was despicably ugly coupled with her immigrant English skills, caused me to flee for my life. I certainly didn't think she was ugly at all, in fact she was prettier than Mary and FarmerJ. But who am I kidding, my standards are trashcan low. Thanks.

It was a couple of months later that I realized I missed Leslie. I wanted to feel her smooth skin, her warm c-cup breasts, and most of all I wanted the feeling that she gave me when she hand-jobbed me. With time her English written/speaking, will improve given constant training by me. I'm willing to work for that. WHo the FUCK am I KIDDING, there was no FORCE in any dimension that can save Leslie from her doom. Me and my brothers will always have a laugh when I mention "I jus wanna to".

Nov. 7, 2001
I had messaged Leslie that night since we were still on talking terms, but I knew she was going out with another bastard, BackStab. I had worked with BackStab on publishing articles for a university club and we were good friends. The fact that talked shit behind my back and went for my ex-gf after we broke up was one dangerous move. I contemplated on busting his ass many times, but I thought why stoop to his level - I'm better than him. I guess I deserve this for breaking Leslie's heart. Whatever, sometimes I have the heart of piece of black coal and sometimes it's blossoming like beautiful red rose - wtf is this shit I'm writing???

Anyhow, I still missed Leslie a lot and deep down I knew she still loved me. So what better way to get back together than to go to a club. It didn't take long to convince Leslie to go to FH - more like "Let's goto FH, I miss you.". Off we went together and all this time she's blabbing about how she missed her math exam and didn't have to rewrite it since everyone failed it. (I'll have you note that Leslie had the booksmarts similar to the level of English skills she had - yes Gr. 3 China girl. But she did have the 6th sense stronger than any woman I've ever dated. She can literally tell if I was in love with her and she read me like a book. She could tell I was attracted to Trekki and that I was in love with her almost without me saying a single word. I guess life has its balances.)

We get to FH and meet up with Seth. Seth's Ex-GF was there as well and I bought some Smirnoffs and taught Leslie how to play drinking games. It's a good thing she missed that math exam cause she was pretty slow at this drinking game involving multiples of 5 with your 2 fists. She would've failed miserably. All the better for me since everytime she lost she had to drink - and lots to drink she had.

Seth takes me out for a smoke and chat - "What do you really want?"
Me: I want Leslie back...I'm really serious about this. ( I was at the time)
Seth: Do what you must, but you know how I feel about her. (He's literally disgusted ahahahah)

I return to the dance floor and instant grindage occurs with Leslie. She told me how Seth's EX-GF asked if I was Leslie's BF etc etc. I drink more alcohol - how I wish I was back together with her.

The night ended with both of us quite intoxicated, but sober enough to carry a serious conversation about our relationship. Leslie knew that she still had feelings, but she was happy with BackStab and he treats her very well, unlike me. This looked like it came straight out of a movie, cause I said this next
"But do you have any fun?"
Leslie: "He doesn't make me cry."

I felt horrible starting then. All the boulders came crashing down on my body, well-deserved boulders I might add.

We kissed passionately and off I go, with almost a tear coming down the eye that I shot myself with when she was jacking me off "Maestro Meets Leslie: Part 2. Hey I have feelings too ok?

I failed miserably to get her back - this time. But this not the last you'll hear of Leslie and the Maestro.....

Maestro and the BrickWall - Part 1

After breaking up with Leslie, we come to the long awaited BrickWall story. For those of you with dirty minds, you can already tell how the name BrickWall came about. But then again, you're not going to skip this story cause you have dirty minds and want to read the dirty shit that I'm about to write. For those of you who don't have dirty minds, - wait a minute, if you're reading this site, you're dirty...hahahahaah.

I had met BrickWall through one of the Sorority sister parties and from then I managed to get her contact and we chilled quite often. After breaking up with Leslie, I restrained myself from getting into another relationship because I just didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. I managed to stay single for about 4 months, when finally FHDoll convinced me that I shouldn't hold back and just go with the flow. The flow indeed I went - straight into BrickWall. She was about 5'1 (God, I love those short cute girls) and had the body of a goddess - tight ass, B cups, her eyes were a bit squinty but it didn't bother me - how many times did i really look her in the eye when i was talking to her? I'm just kidding.)

So we started seeing each other and things kicked off pretty similar to Leslie. Got the hand many times and all was well. Yes I still have not BBB'ed anyone yet. Soon, very soon.

Turns out BrickWall got increasingly clingy and I do not enjoy this. Everywhere we went she would cling to me like a Klingon in a battle of Tukjuehk. Even the Maestro has a limit to how much attention he's getting. This was too much, and I could not stand it for more than 2 weeks.

2 weeks later we broke up. What I said I wouldn't do, I did. We spent good times together, but I told her I considered her "a friend" and Maestro has wreaked havoc once again. What the fuck is wrong with me you ask? The fact that I can't sustain a relationship for more than a month is what's wrong wtih me. Like someone, Vampira told me "I have the attention span of a peanut." Vampira story will come in due time.

But it is inevitable that we get back together a few months later.

You're gonna have to read Part 2 to get the better part of the story.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Maestro's Angels: Summerfest

It's funny how your connections spread like wildfire on campus. You get introduced to a friend who's probably a friend of a friend of a friend of yours, and if you get introduced to enough people, they all turn out to be your friends. Such is the beauty of living in university and knowing asian people.

After that crazy episode with FluxCap at the first Summerfest event, she told me that I would be interested in her friend, 'Drew Barrymore', who's very similar to me - parties a lot, likes to flirt, likes to drink etc. Turns out she lives in another city but would be returning to campus in a short while - so FluxCap gives me her ICQ and we start to chat.

After a few months, I meet Drew for a drink and we talk about random things. She was about 5'6, typical black shoulder length hair, a semi-round face and thin body. We became quite close after that - partying at FH, occasional smokes etc.

Later on, she introduced me to her roomate, Lucy Liu. Lucy had a cute "paul frank" monkey face, she was 5'6 and even more slender than Drew and had sweet C-cup breasts. She was quite the talkative one, when she was comfortable and we started going to more and more parties together.

When I met the third Angel, Cameron Diaz, I found her to be very quiet and subdued; to the point where she didn't want to talk at all - beyond shy. But she was quite tall, 5'7 with beautiful legs and the cutest face ever. Her hair was long and well taken care of - unlike Drew's which looked kinda shaggy at times - I'm definitely a hair person (after tits, legs, ass and face of course). Cameron was by far the prettiest, although Lucy comes at a very close second. Her mysteriousness (you can call it shyness), heightened my curiosity about her and it drew me closer and closer.

Talking to her was worse than talking to a stuck-up bitch, I'm sorry to say. She needed major communication skills - I mean her responses would take 10 mins (I'm talking about ICQ messages) There would be a time when I messaged once and didn't get a response until the next day around the same time, even though she was on N/A. The fact that she is on N/A 24/7 means that you don't know where the fuck she is, nor does she care if she responds to anyone. If you're not going to chat with someone on ICQ, TURN IT OFF. This fact did not bother me much until much much later, when I started going out with her and this turned out to be one of my most pivotal relationships I will ever have. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Tonight was one of those parties that I had a lot of fun hanging out with my Angels. It's become customary for me to go with them to the FH Club a lot and I felt like Bosley with the 3 Angels all the time - It's a great feeling. They have fun. I have fun.
So here's the story about one of those nights:

June 18, 2001
9:15pm - messaged Lucy if she was going to this Summerfest event at FH, but she said she's got midterms and can't go. I wish her luck and I get ready to leave.

9:20pm - Drew messages me and says "Lucy just got in the shower and we're going to Summerfest!" So I told her I'll get 3 tix for them and wait for them at the line at 9:45pm.

9:30pm - Watched the Laker vs. 76ers game and headed to FH at 9:45pm (I knew they weren't going to be on time, so I figured showing up at 10 would be good enough).

10pm - Note that all the tix for this event had been sold out and the only way to get them was to buy it off scalpers near the line. I bought 2 for $20 off 1 guy and another 2 for $11 (don't ask me why 11, i don't remember). I had a smoke with a buddy of mine and the line started to fill up. By filling up I mean around a corner - at least 200 people, insane.

10:30pm - The Angels finally show up. I told them to jump over the railing as I help them with their legs ahhaahah. The crowd behind me did not share my sense of humour, so I handed them their tickets and they went to the back of the line....the very back. (That's what you get for making me wait so damn long).

10:40pm - I feel sorry for them and just tell them to come in front of me. They wanted to pay me back for the tickets, but I just told them to buy me a drink - Each.

11pm - Line up at bar for drinks. Time for some fun.
Lucy gets me a Polar bear. Drew gets me a Black Russian (double shot). And Cameron buys me a B-52. Way to get started. woo!

I noticed the place was jammed packed with people. They even extended the patio outside for more space. It looked like a beach area that was tented, except everyone under the tent was drinking and smoking. We decide to head to the patio area.

Outside, there was drunken beach volleyball and a truck promoting Mike's hard drinks. Free t-shirts, buttons, glitter and tattoos were being given out. I tried some of the new promo-drink, Chrome and pass it to Drew and Lucy. Then they saw this holographic plastic button that looked so amazing on one of the staff shirts. When women see shiny things and bulge, they want to get their hands on it. So being the nice guy that I am, I go up to the mini-bar and ask this chick behind the counter if I can have a button.

Another girl approaches me and says here are some stickers. She begins to unbutton my shirt and stuck Mike's Hard Lemon stickers all over my chest. I'm completely in shock and enjoyment at the same time - this is pretty cool, I thought. I calmly tell the girls that I just wanted the Chrome holograms and I don't need anymore Lemon stickers. They ignore me, and one of them begins LICKING THE STICKERS ON MY CHEST saying "This'll make them stick better." DAMN Right it'll stick better - I was in utter disbelief - How can the Mike's Hard staff do this? Turns out they weren't staff at all!! Just random drunk girls that wanted to give me a good time.When they were done, I just grabbed some keychains and glitter and gave it to Cameron. Cameron was very hot that night. I show her my stickers on my chest and tell the angels this story. Then I hear my favorite song playing, Lady by Modjo. I immediately drag the Angels in for dancing.

The song ends and is followed by utter crap - time for more shots. I ordered 4 sex on the beaches for us and we down it quick. As I'm walking back to the dance floor with Drew, Lucy and Cameron, 2 of guys that I do not like at all comment that I'm not with only 1 girl, but 3 and that I rock. I decided they're not bad guys and I wouldn't cause bodily harm to them that night.

Saw Bearie and friends, danced with them. Lost track of the Angels.
Went out for a smoke and a white girl comes up to me saying "Can I have a cig?" I'm like sure and we talk about her life, and how she rolled her own smokes back in England "Drum Mild Shag" I laugh at this. Blah blah blah, I wanted to dance with her. We go and dance. I buy her a drink and I decide I needed my Angels.

I find them in the middle of the dance floor watching some stunt on stage. At this time, some girl approaches me and asks if Drew is available. I'm like Lesbian action? Very nice and I said, she's free as a bird, go get her. I am utterly disappointed when the girl tells me her friend - she points beside her and I see the biggest geek ever - is very interested. I'm like smiling to myself "this guy has no chance in hell", he thought the girls were with me and wanted to make sure Drew wasn't taken. Well at least he was smart enough not to ask for my permission. I love respect hahaha. Anyhow, I said go right ahead and indeed he went. It was obvious the outcome, as Drew rejected him straight out. (I later told Drew about what I did, and she threw a fit and laughed - she felt sorry for him though. Oh well, you have to go through some failures to succeed in life.)

The night was winding down and I needed something hard to get me past the semi-buzz stage. Cameron did not feel like drinking (she never felt like drinking anyway and she's the worst drinker I've ever known to this day. Seriously, half a glass of beer will send her to lalaland and she's the most NON-fun drunk ever, I mean alcohol is like a sleeping drought for her - she feels sleepy and doesn't feel like doing anything.) Lucy wanted something not-so-hard and Drew being the hardcore party-animal like me wanted whatever I was getting.

I ordered 2 prairie fires, and a chocolate martini. We all downed our shots, with Drew instantly coughing and gasping for air. Prairie fires are SICK hahahaha. I get her some water and we dance more. Bearie and Bearie2 (who had the same name as Bearie) came to join me as well. So I'm with 5 girls on the dance floor. I'm getting cuteye from the badass gangsters on the side, who just stand there and do nothing but watch and be jealous of all the hot guys who get the girls (a.k.a me. LOL).

Nothing much happens after that as I say goodbye to the girls and my Angels.
Although it was fun to get random girls to unclothe and lick you.

Girl of the Night: Cameron - so beautiful, Drew for being such a party animal and Lucy for dancing so sexy
Drink of the night: Prairie Fire - got Drew pretty choked up haha
Rating: 88/100 - Can't wait until the next time I get to see Cameron.

Maestro is invited to a house party by Bearie and Hinata: Hinata's True form is exposed!

May 16, 2001.
I had bumped into Bearie the day before after one of her math classes and she told me she's having a big party and wanted me to come. She said Hinata will pick me up after she's done work. Was I ever excited.

Hinata calls me at 9:10pm to get ready and SonarK (Hinata's friend) shows up 10 minutes later in a car. We needed to stock up some more liquor before heading there, but the damn place was closed. We got lost and needed to stop at a gas station for directions. Oh well. Hinata was damn hot - waving long brown/black hair, green top...I love green *droool....
The gas attendants are absolutely no use and by then one of Bearie's friends (who lives in the house we're going to party at) is running towards us. He gets in the car and guides us to his humble abode.

I was not surprised to see everyone already there half-pasted drunk, watching Erin Brockovich on a screen so small I couldn't even make out Julia Robert's tits (she apparently stuffed-up her bra pretty huge in that movie). Hinata gets right to business and starts cooking spring rolls for everyone. I popped open a Vex and munched on those kickass spring rolls. The fun began when Host cracks open a 40oz bottle of Bacardi Rum. Let the Games Begin.

Hinata was the expert here (absolute tank and can hold her alcohol like no other girl...well maybe TheNative haha). She laid out 6 empty glasses and brought out a single die. Each glass is numbered correspondingly from 1-6 and everyone takes a turn rolling the dice. If you roll a number and the cup is empty, you fill it up with whatever you please. If you roll a number of the cup that is filled with alcohol, you drink and ROLL AGAIN. Repeat the process until you've rolled a number of an empty cup. Pretty ruthless isn't it? Imagine all 6 cups are full and you're next to roll.

I realized how cruel and ruthless people are when they played this game. It started with beers in the glasses and after we all had a few, Hinata goes and fills an entire glass with pure rum. We're all like "WTF!" - I just wanted to see her drink her own punishment hahaha. This cup is #1 and guess who rolls a '1'? Yep. Do unto yourself what you wish to do to others. SonarK wouldn't let Hinata drink this since she was literally slurring every word and falling off her chair on every roll of the die. 2 guys pinned her down, while SonarK took the glass and chugged it like the man he wishes he was. Hinata loses it at this point, screaming and cursing like a schizophrenic high off cocaine. She would not stop until someone re-poured that drink and she took what was due - You gotta hand it to her, she was a stubborn bitch that was probably showed more courage and guts than any other guy there (yes even me.) To keep the party rolling, they succumb to her devilish demands and pour her glass half-full with rum. Hinata may be a screaming inebriated schizo-banshee, but she wasn't stupid. She roared "FILL THE FUCKING CUP ALL THE WAY YOU BITCH!"
I couldn't help but laugh as I saw her peons comply and pour her death wish. After she chugged it, and I mean CHUGGED the rum, she almost got K.O.'ed right there. Luckily, she was a warrior - actually she reminded me of Xena, Tall and hot.

The games continue, and I was feeling disappointed because the Maestro has not yet drank and is not drunk. Hinata poured me some special mixes (including half a glass of rum) - Hinata was cut-off from drinking after that crazy episode, but that didn't stop her from inflicting harm to those around her by pouring the most potent mixes of drinks possible.

I had reached a state of "pretty-high-buzz" and began to smoke with the fellow guys - which was a bad idea as it sent that "pretty-high-buzz" up to "feeling nauseous drunk". Everyone was in pretty bad shape at this point, so they moved on to "Truth or Dare". I don't recall how someone would be picked to play, but the Host got picked first. The rules are if you can't answer the question truthfully, you drink.

Hinata: "Arrrrre you a virrrrginnnn?"
Host: (grabs a shot and chugs it.)

SonarK gets picked. TWICE IN A ROW.

Hinata and Bearie: "What hand do you use to masturbate with???"
(SonarK is not feeling very well at this point since he put his life on the line drinking that glass of rum for Hinata. He didn't look like he can hold his alcohol very well as he's bright red and eyes are half-closed.)
SonarK: Whattt the fuckk kind of question issss that....(drinks a shot)

2nd time SonarK gets picked -
Hinata: Are you a virgin? (I guess we were all very immature at this point and not very comfortable with sex to be asking these questions. Most of the guys and girls were virgins, OBVIOUSLY not Hinata - what a WHORE. Did I mention she was hot too?)
SonarK: NO I'm not. (Hinata and Bearie cheer like they just won a hockey game, but Hinata is still not satisfied and proceeds to ask MORE questions even though it wasn't his turn anymore.)
Hinata: When was the last time you had sex? Masturbated? Today? Yesterday? Few hours ago? (She was like a wild dog that bit into an half-dead corpse and would not leg go even if a shotgun was fired at her face)

These questions were left unanswered and the night has come down to me getting picked.
Maestro: I thought I would never get picked.
Bearie: Too bad....Do you like me?
Maestro: Is that a question?
Bearie: Yes! Do you Like me?
(at this point, everyone is cracking up and I knew I was gonna get flailed on with insults left right and center.)
I smile at Bearie and chug a shot.
Luck is not smiling upon me when I get picked again:

SonarK had realized I had a thing for Hinata as well as Bearie - I guess he noticed my shameless staring at Hinata and sneaky flirting with Bearie.
SonarK: This is my question everyone...hahaha (evil sinister laugh)
WHO would you like to have sex with right now? Hinata? or Bearie?

I fell off my chair, the entire room roars with cheers at this question. The girls are giggling like little fairies. Hinata at this point was beside me lying down against me, kinda awake but still knew the Big Question was asked.
Bearie: I know!! it's HINATA, right Maestro? You want to have sex with Hinata right??
Hinata: FUCK YOU BITCH!! (I was laughing and feeling scared at the same time.) YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU"RE TALKING ABOUT!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Hinata gets up and begins to slap Bearie - I grab a bag of chips and enjoy the show. Bearie starts laughing and swearing at Hinata, but before any more blows are exchanged, the boys promptly separate them. I put down the bag of chips. Show's over.

One of the guys took Bearie outside to cool off, SonarK went to his car to sober up, and I took care of Hinata and some other guy in the house. The other guy went to puke and I went outside to look for Bearie and SonarK. Bearie is still going insane, screaming and yelling, with this guy bearhugging her to prevent her from throwing herself at a fence. This guy brought Bearie to his car and since Bearie has no control over her muscular functions, opens the door so quick and powerful that it slams against SonarK's. OUCh.

I head back inside to check on Hinata and I see her lying on her back, semi-conscious. From my experience of drinking, I know it is very bad to be lying on your back when drunk. I try and get her to lie on her side and to rehydrate herself with water.

me: Hey Hinata, how's it going?
Hinata: *grunts..
me: you know what? You should lie on your side, otherwise you're going to wake up puking your guts out.
(I'm cracking up at this point and so are 2 other guys that were beside me.)

I grab a garbage can and place it beside her "you're gonna need this."
Hinata responds with more cursing and swearing. As I back away, she gets up and pukes. Right into the trashcan I just brought. I got some major props from those guys, "Wow man, you're good. - Nice going, that would've been a mess to clean up."
I smile and said I had experience with drunks - being one myself, Many many times. I was not happy the fact that Bearie's Bearhug friend was totally handling Bearie the wrong way. My job was done. Fun was had. Time to go home.

I hitch a ride with Bearie's Bearhugging friend and this is when the alcohol hit me head on. I guess I can remain sober enough to take care of others, but when the job is done, my body remembered that I'm supposed to be pissed drunk too and slams it in my face. I stumbled into my room, tried to drink water and ate some cup noodles. No use. I puke so much - mostly pure alcohol cause I didn't eat much before heading to the party. This was duly noted for my next experiences drinking - EAT before drink.

Girl(s) of the Night: HINATA!! and Bearie too
Drink of the Night: #1 Rum.
Rating: 85/100 - Seeing Hinata and Bearie catfight was quite entertaining.

I'm so drunk at this point, that I'm sweating profusely and did not want to answer any of Hinata's questions. At the same time, I could not stop staring at her - she was 10 times hotter than before. This was when I realized there is such a thing as beer goggles. Nevertheless, she was hot even when I was drunk.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Maestro gets Shafted many times

Wed. May 10, 2001.
My buddy from highschool came up, Ranch, and I told BrickWall to meet me in my room.
I had met BrickWall (story as to why she's called the BrickWall will come) through the Sorority Sisters BMV at our first party together. She was about 5'1 (yes I like those small little ones) and had cute eyes, long hair, breasts were bigger than Mary's which made her so much hotter. She was a real cutey and I was a little attracted to her when I first saw her. That first party had me taking her to the bathroom a couple of times cause she was puking a lot. Little did I know, I would be going out with her a year later. BrickWall and I became friends but this was a night maybe months BEFORE we started going out. Believe it or not, Ranch thought BrickWall was damn cute too and wanted to go for her. I didn't give a shit, and told him to go right ahead - I had no interest to start a relationship with her, or anyone else at the time.

Ranch arrives around 10:30pm and brings a case of Mike's and Islanders (both coolers). I'm in the midst of Djing with Winamp and crossfaders using tempo plug-ins. I was having a blast fiddling with the music while Ranch begins flirting with BrickWall. After a couple of coolers each, we head over to FH for one of those special Asian events again. Talked with Trekki's friend who she BBB'ed many times, Trix and sat down at a table inside FH. Trekki came over and said hi to me and BrickWall. Turned out she knew BrickWall - The world is too small - now I know why i'm famous for my deeds across campus. It was time to get a drink.
[Note that BrickWall was underage at this point - 18 years old (fuck you she's still legal). And the beauty about FH is that you can still enter the club but with X's marked on both hands along with a wristband that labels you as "young loser that can't drink". I felt sorry for her, but since we pre-drank anyway it didn't matter all that much.] I knew FH's policies fairly well, being a regular there for 2 years running now, and one thing you don't do is hand an underage a drink. The Maestro, thinking he can get away with this and thinking he's different from all others who have been caught, HANDS BrickWall a sex on the beach. She sips it and moments later, staff members take her to the BACK ROOM. I"M FUCKED. The Maestro is declared officially RETARDED. Me and Ranch sit there and we knew we were in deep shit. The staff members come back out with BrickWall and she had to name who gave her the drink. She shamefully points me out along and I lie through my teeth:
FH Staff: Did you buy her a drink?
Me: No i didn't BUY her a drink ( I just handed it to her...and she took a sip)
FH staff: Come with us

So we're in the BACK ROOM now. Me, Ranch and BrickWall are confronted by a manager and another staff member. The manager begins to drill us on how stupid it is to hand an underage a drink and how it's against the law and shit like this. Then he proceeds to pound out who gave the girl the drink. Being the shameless nitwit that I am, I do not admit to my crime. I knew that if I did, I would not be able to step foot in FH for at least the rest of the semester - which is a good 3 months of kickass partying. I am not about to give that up. I'm such an asshole aren't I?
Ranch decides to be Neo and owns up to this on behalf of me. He was our saviour that suffered for my crime. Actually he didn't get any punishment since he went to another school and he played it off like he didn't know she couldn't drink. Ultimately, it came back to MY responsibility to make sure my guests don't do that. Luckily, only BrickWall's ID was photocopied into their database and she was banned from the premises for 2 weeks. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH It's funny now, but we were ALL raging mad at that point. I kept saying that we've learned our lesson and can we go back in please? AHAHAHAHAHA
The manager basically said he's lucky he didn't call the police and shit. So he lets us out through the back. We weren't even in the club for 20 mins and we get kicked out. This would be the first and last time The Maestro is ever kicked out of FH. SHAFT #1.

We decide to head back to my room for more crazy Djing on the comp for me and finish the rest of the coolers. While I'm DJing, Ranch tells me secretly that he has thte hots for BrickWall and I tell him to go have his fun. So he proceeds to massage her neck and shoulders, all the while BrickWall is moaning with satisfaction - My speakers increase in volume. Then Ranch starts playing with BrickWall's hair - i did'nt want to witness a barbie session and almost opened some porn.
He goes "Your hair is nice."
BrickWall: Thanks...
Me: (Trying hard not to laugh cause we're all so fucking drunk and Ranch wants to cum all over Christmas BrickWall's hair.)

The night gets progressively boring and suddenly all of our stomachs are growling from hunger. We walk a good 15 minutes to the local plaza for some food. BrickWall wanted chicken wings and Ranch wanted a pita, and The Maestro is dying for his noodles. Ranch is successful in purchasing his pita at a pita place. As we head down the strip for wings, we find that it is closed - 2am and it's FUCKING closed. SHAFT#2. We head to local tea place and we're in luck - it's open! I proceed to order a noodles. "Sorry our kitchen is closed." IT"S FUCKING 2 AM and you have customers here that are drunk, YOU CANNOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN. OPEN THE DAMN STOVE AND BOIL ME MY NOODLES. HOLY FUCK.
They do not comply. SHAFT #3. In addition, they proceed to tell us we're not supposed to bring other food in, e.g. Ranch's Pita., but since there aren't that many people there it was OK this time. I was literally going to take Ranch's pita and stuff it in the waiter's face. I asked "DID your drinks station close too?" UNBELIEVABLE. Good thing it didn't, i would've lost it.

We begin sipping our drinks when I survey the cafe to see 1 guy sitting at a table quite close. This guy had on the typical thick glasses, buttoned up collared shirt all the way to his neck that constricted his air circulation, jeans that wrapped ABOVE his waist line, and hair so messed up to a degree I didn't think possible. He was sitting there, reading "Thermodynamics of Heat Transfer." I realized that 2 years later I would be reading the same book in a course of mine - turns out I'm a geek engineer like him - only much cooler. Me and Ranch both study engineering, but we knew how to party - which sets us at a totally different sector than HIM. Me and Ranch were pretty angry at this point, after getting shafted 3 times, he was a primary target of attack. We wailed on him like there was no tomorrow. He was asian like us, but all the cool Asians were at that FH event enjoying the time of their lives - getting drunk and busy on the dance floor. The fact that this person chose NOT to go out of his own free will makes him the biggest loser on the face of the earth. [Note ALSO that this is 2 weeks into the semester - WHO THE FUCK STUDIES 2 weeks in? I don't even buy my textbook until 2 weeks BEFORE the final exams. This guy needed a lesson. And a lesson was taught by Maestro and Ranch. BrickWall was too dizzy and laughed at everything we did. The banter is described as acurately as I could remember:

Ranch: ARE YOU AN ENGINEER????? (with the dumbest look on his face)
we all crack up - except for ThermoGeek.
ThermoGeek: Yes. Yes. (he's quite shaken from the way Ranch was asking.
Maestro: HAHAHAH REALLY? I didn't notice, what's that book you're reading? Is it interesting?
ThermoGeek: yes, it's thermodynamics.
Maestro: YEAH i saw that on the why aren't you at the party like everyone else that is cool?
ThermoGeek: I have to study.
Maestro: IT"S FUCKING 2 WEEKS into school, YOU HAVE NO LIFE. DO YOU feel HOT when you read that book?
At this point Ranch and BrickWall are cracking up so hard behind me....I tried to keep my laughter in....but i burst out 2 seconds later and the entire wait staff is staring at us with WTF looks. We decided we've scarred ThermoGeek enough and leave the cafe. Still laughing, we decided to head back to FH (it was around 2:30am and the party would probably be ending) to see if anyone we knew was leaving the club. On the way over there, we ask every Asian a question (who we knew would be uncool since every other COOL Asian was at the event that Me Ranch and BrickWall got kicked out of because of my stupid actions.)
"ARE YOU AN ENGINEER?" I'll have you note that of the 10 or so people we asked, ALL OF THEM SAID YES. Which makes you think, How many UNCOOL GEEK ASS engineers are there? But none can top ThermoGeek - who is studying at 2am in the morning at a cafe....2 weeks into school.

20 minutes later we arrive at FH and see some people I know, but they didn't feel like having an after party since they had such a good time there ALREADY. Yes I know, I'm sorry Ranch and BrickWall. We continue walking until we reach a parking lot, where a bunch of Psych students came up to us and asked us to do a survey invovling Breathalyzer tests. WHAT FUN!!! We all blew into the tube and they asked if we were going to drive. Ranch was the only one who had a car, but I answered Yes anyway. HAHAAHAHAHAHA another fit of laughter from the 3 of us. My reading was a measly 0.043 - still under the legal limit of 0.05. They said "Well, you're in luck, you can still drive, but you're barely under the legal limit." THANKS A LOT, They let us keep the breathalyzer tube too (not the whole thing, just the mouth piece). I lost that thing the next day. AHHAHA
I walked BrickWall home, contemplated making out with her, but decided to control my horny self. So I left quickly before I changed my mind.
I was still pretty buzzed when I passed out on my bed at 4:15am.

I woke up the next morning at 7am to get ready for work. I think I fell asleep at my desk.

When I actually took the Thermodynamics course 2 years later, I could only remember this story. I think during the final exam I held in my hysteria when I day dreamed about that day, thinking : maybe if I studied 2 weeks into the term like ThermoGeek I wouldn't be scrambling through my cheat sheets trying to find the answer. Oh well I think I rocked that course with an 82.